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What is your love language?
For me, I feel loved when people use kind words and help me with things. I show my love by giving gifts and helping others too.
Are you shaking your head because you’re not sure what I mean? Let me explain.
I’m talking about the five love languages. These are the special ways people show love to others and feel loved themselves! I first learned about the five love languages at church. It really helped me understand how my husband and I feel cared for, and it made me wonder if these ideas work for kids too.
What are the five love languages?
The five love languages are the ways we show and feel love. Different people with different personalities give and receive love in different ways!
Dr. Gary Chapman studied this and wrote a book called The 5 Love Languages. In it, he explains the five love languages: physical touch, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and quality time. He also shares the science behind each one and teaches how you can figure out the love language of the people you care about.
Here are the five love languages:
1. Physical Touch
Physical touch is just what it sounds like—feeling love through physical contact. Some people need hugs, cuddles, or a hand to hold to really feel loved.
The good news is that showing love through physical touch is easy! You can give more hugs, cuddles, kisses, back rubs, or even just a gentle pat on the back.
If your grandchild loves giving hugs or snuggling extra close during storytime, physical touch might be the way they show their love too!
2. Acts of Service
If your grandchild’s love language is acts of service, they feel most loved when you do thoughtful things for them. This could be baking their favorite cookies, helping with their chores, or doing something special just to make them smile.
Does your grandchild love helping around the house without even being asked? If so, acts of service is probably their love language. (And if that’s the case, Grandma, you are extra blessed!)
3. Quality Time
Put down the phone, Grandma! Your grandchild just wants to spend as much one-on-one time with you as possible.
What should you do together? Maybe an afternoon at the park, some craft time, or an extra-long storytime? The possibilities are endless!
If your grandchild often asks to do things together, it’s also a clue that they show their love through quality time, too.
4. Gifts
As someone who loves giving gifts myself, I think this is one of the most fun ways to show love! (Just kidding… kind of.)
If your grandchild feels the most loved when they get a special surprise, then gifts like books, candy bars, or small toys are sure to make them smile.
If your grandchild loves making presents for you or spending their allowance on gifts for others, that’s a big hint that giving gifts is their way of showing love.
5. Words of Affirmation
You love your grandchild more than anything in the world—so make sure you tell them, and tell them often!
If your grandchild’s love language is words of affirmation, they need to hear encouraging words to feel loved. Build them up by telling them how smart they are, how proud you are when they try hard, and how much you love them every day.
If your grandchild loves giving you compliments or saying sweet things, that’s a good sign that they show their love through words of affirmation too!
I can’t recommend learning about the five love languages enough—both the idea and the books! (There’s even a special version just for kids.)
Why is it important to know someone’s love language?
Knowing a person’s love language is really important. We all give and feel love in different ways. Sometimes, if love isn’t shown in the way we need, we might not feel it as much.
Dr. Chapman says, “Love and connection are essential for healthy family relationships.” He also reminds us, “Whether with your immediate or extended family, there are always ways to grow closer and love better.”
Guess what? They do! That’s why I think it’s a great idea to learn your grandchild’s love language. It can help you show your love in a way that speaks straight to their heart.
How tan you figure out your (or someone else’s) love language?
You know your grandchild better than almost anyone, so you might be able to figure out their love language pretty quickly!
For example, one of my grandsons loves to cuddle, be held, and have his back rubbed all the time. Physical touch makes him feel safe and loved. This same grandson also loves making little surprises for me and everyone he cares about. That tells me he shows his love by giving gifts.
You can always make a good guess about your grandchild’s love language just by watching how they act. But if you want to be sure, you can also have them take this short, fun, and FREE quiz!
Learning about my husband’s love language was so important for our relationship. It made a big difference with my children and grandchildren too!
I highly recommend reading the book and finding out your grandchild’s love language. Trust me—it will make your bond even stronger!
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