Being a grandma is the best, isn’t it? Being a mom is great, too—but being a grandma brings so much joy with a little less stress. We don’t have to do all the hard work of parenting anymore. Now we get to enjoy the fun parts, like spoiling our grandkids and sending them back home!
But even though we get the fun job, we still need to think about their parents—our own kids. They’re working hard to raise their children, and we can be a big help in their parenting journey. The good news is, there are many simple and loving ways we grandmas can support them, such as:
Offer to take the kids so Mom and Dad can rest (or go out)
This one may seem obvious, but it’s worth saying first! Parenting is super tiring, as you probably remember. One of the best gifts you can give is time—so they can enjoy a quiet meal or a relaxing break.
Babysitting for birthdays or anniversaries is great, but offer on regular days too. (And let’s be honest—you get extra time to spoil the grandkids!)
Don’t overstep
You’ve been through parenting before, and you might know the answer they need. But be careful not to step on toes—especially with your daughter- or son-in-law. If your grown child asks for advice, feel free to share. If not, it’s often best to stay quiet, smile, and pray they figure things out with peace and ease.
Celebrate their wins
Parenting is full of tough days, so when something goes right—celebrate it! Did your child potty train their toddler? Handle a tantrum calmly? Survive a sleepless week? Let them know you see their hard work. A simple “You’re doing great” can lift their spirits more than you know.
Have their back
I’ll be honest—there have been times I’ve wanted to side with my grandkids instead of their parents. (Yes, it was a school night, but it was just one hour past bedtime!) Still, I reminded myself not to overstep.
I bit my tongue and told my grandchild, “You need to listen to and respect your mom and dad.” That’s what it means to have their back.
Speak kindly about them, even when they’re not around
It’s important to say good things about your grandkids’ parents—especially when you’re alone with the kids. Your grandkids already love their mom and dad, but hearing nice things from you makes a big impact. Let them know how smart, loving, and amazing their parents are. Coming from Grandma, that means a lot!
Give experiences instead of things
This idea may be a little different, but I love it! I enjoy giving my kids memberships to fun places like the museum or aquarium instead of toys. These gifts give them something fun and easy to do as a family—again and again—all year long!
Don’t second-guess their parenting
Every parent has their own way of doing things. Remember how different you were from your mom or mother-in-law?
Grandma, it’s important not to second-guess your child’s parenting. Maybe you think a Reeses’s Peanut Butter Cup won’t hurt anyone—but your daughter-in-law read something about sugar and food dyes, and now the kids can’t have it.
Even if you don’t agree, you have to respect it. Unless the kids are being harmed, let your child parent in the way they believe is best for their family.
Praise them often
Parenting is hard and doesn’t come with much praise. That’s why it means so much when we say kind things. Tell your child you’re proud of the parent they’ve become. Let them know what a great job they’re doing with [insert grandchild’s name]. Your words will lift them up—and you might earn a few extra “best grandma” points, too!
Never speak badly behind their back
You wouldn’t want anyone talking about your parenting behind your back, right? So it’s best to stay away from gossip. If something really bothers you and doesn’t go away, have a kind and honest talk with your child and their spouse. But if it’s not a big deal, it’s better to keep it to yourself.
Give them space
It’s easy to want to be with your grandkids and their parents all the time—but remember, they are their own family now.
They need time and space to grow together. You’re an important part of their lives, but try not to jump into anything unless your child invites you in.
Respect their routines
If the kids have a bedtime, nap time, or screen time limit, try your best to follow it—even when they’re at your house. Sticking to their routine shows your adult child that you respect their parenting and helps the kids feel safe and steady.
Be their cheerleader, not their critic
Parenting comes with enough pressure already, so try to build your child up, not tear them down. When you see them trying their best, say so!
Even if you would’ve done things differently, choose to cheer them on. Your support means more than you might think.
I hope these tips don’t sound too bossy! I’ve just learned (the hard way!) that these ideas really help when it comes to supporting my grandkids’ parents. Do you have any other tips that work for you? I’d love to hear them!
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