15 Things the Best Grandmas Never Do When Visiting Your Grandkids

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Remember when your kids were little, and you felt like you were always guiding, correcting, and keeping things in order—every single day? Those days are behind you now. You’ve graduated to the best role ever: the fun grandma to the cutest little humans on the planet! Isn’t that just the best?

But sometimes, it’s hard to shake old habits. We spent so many years being “Mom” that it can be tough to step back and just enjoy.

Here’s the good news: you don’t have to do that job anymore. Now, your role is all about love, laughter, and soaking up every special moment with your grandkids.

The tricky part? It takes a little time to adjust. That’s why I’ve made a helpful list of 15 things grandmas should never do when visiting their grandkids—so you can fully enjoy this sweet season of life.

1. Spoiling a Little Too Much

You probably saw this one coming! It’s so easy to want to give our grandkids everything their hearts desire. And yes—spoiling is part of the grandma magic! But too much of it can sometimes lead to kids not understanding the value of things. Try to mix in little lessons about thankfulness and appreciation along with the treats and surprises.

2. Not Following the Parents’ Rules

When you’re visiting your grandkids, it’s super important to respect the rules their parents have set. (Remember how it felt if your rules were ignored back in the day? Yep—same idea!) It might be tempting to say yes to things just to see those sweet smiles, but breaking the parents’ rules can make things tricky and even hurt your relationship with them. Sticking to their guidelines shows love and support for everyone.

3. Comparing Your Grandkids

I know you would never do this—but it’s worth mentioning anyway! Each grandchild is one-of-a-kind and special in their own way. Comparing them—especially out loud—can make them feel like they’re not good enough or cause rivalry between siblings. Try to celebrate what makes each child unique, and skip phrases like, “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” That kind of comment can really sting.

4. Being Too Strict

Here’s some happy news, Grandma—you don’t have to be the strict one anymore (unless things really get out of hand). Discipline is mostly Mom and Dad’s job now. If your grandkids act up, try to stay calm and kind. Save the bigger discipline talks for their parents. This helps you keep a loving and peaceful bond with your grands.

5. Forgetting to Listen

You’ve lived a lot of life and have so much wisdom to share—but don’t forget to listen, too. Take time to hear your grandkids’ stories, dreams, and even their silly thoughts. It makes them feel important, and knowing that you care about what they say means the world to them.

6. Staying Too Long

We all know how much you adore your grandkids—and they love you right back! But your adult children might have set aside their routines during your visit. Knowing when to head home shows kindness and respect for their space. Leaving on a high note helps keep the love strong and the visits happy for everyone.

7. Taking Sides Between Parents

Whether it’s about bedtime, screen time, or chores, try your best to stay neutral. Your role is to support your family, not get in the middle of parenting decisions. Taking sides can cause tension, so it’s usually best to simply offer love, understanding, and a listening ear.

8. Not Playing with Your Grandkids

Getting down on the floor might not be as easy as it used to be—but oh, how it means the world to your grandkids! Play is how they connect, express themselves, and feel close to you. Whether it’s building blocks, make-believe games, or a round of Go Fish, joining their fun shows them you care.

9. Pushing Your Beliefs Too Hard

It’s beautiful to share your values, especially when they come from a place of love and faith. I know how much we want to pass on what matters most to us. But our kids and grandkids need the space to grow, learn, and discover their own paths. Share gently, love unconditionally, and trust that your kindness will leave a lasting mark.

10. Sharing Family Secrets

Grandma, you’re the keeper of so many family stories—but not all of them need to be told. While a funny memory can bring smiles, sharing old arguments or sensitive secrets can stir up hurt feelings. Keep your stories light, loving, and safe for little ears. (Yes, even that story!)

11. Ignoring Today’s Safety Rules

Things have changed a lot since you raised your kids—especially when it comes to safety. From car seats to food prep, today’s guidelines are built on years of careful research. Even if they seem a little over-the-top, following them shows you care and helps keep your grandkids safe and sound.

12. Handing Out Too Many Treats

It’s so hard to say no to those sweet little faces asking for just one more cookie! But try to keep treats as just that—treats. A little goes a long way, and helping your grandkids enjoy healthy foods shows love in the best way.

13. Giving Too Many Gifts

Bringing a little surprise now and then is sweet—but showing up with gifts every single visit can create big expectations. Your grandkids should look forward to you, not just the presents. The most meaningful gift you can give is your time, hugs, and love.

14. Ignoring the Family’s Routine

Every family has a rhythm that helps things run smoothly—like bedtime, meals, and nap schedules. Try not to keep the kids up too late or skip those quiet rest times. Following their routine shows respect and helps keep your visit calm, happy, and full of smiles.

15. Forgetting to Say “I Love You”

This one is the most important of all. Never forget to tell your grandkids how much you love them. Those three little words can make their hearts feel safe, happy, and strong. And of course, show your love with warm hugs, kind words, and all the little things you do.

If you’ve been around here a while, I’m sure you didn’t need this list—but it’s always nice to have a little reminder (for me too!). The most important thing is to enjoy our time with those sweet grandbabies and not stress over the small stuff.

Talk to you again soon, my dear fellow Grandma. You’re doing great. 💖

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