There’s nothing better than hearing your grandchild giggle! And nothing makes them laugh more than a good joke.
No matter if your grandchild is a preschooler, in elementary school, a pre-teen, or even a teenager, a silly joke is sure to make them smile.
I’ve gathered a fun collection of clean, age-appropriate jokes that I hope you and your grandchild will enjoy together!
Hilarious Jokes for Toddlers and Preschoolers
Little ones love to laugh, and there’s nothing sweeter than their giggles! These jokes are simple, silly, and perfect for toddlers and preschoolers. Get ready for lots of smiles and maybe even a few belly laughs!
Where do elephants pack their clothes?
In their trunks!
What do you call a fish without an eye?
A fsh.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?
That hit the spot!
What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon.
What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?
A firequacker!
What bird is always out of breath?
A puffin!
Which dinosaur had to wear glasses?
Tyrannosaurus specs
How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut.
What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A walkie talkie.
What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
“Me-ow.”
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
What do you do when a dinosaur sneezes?
Get out of the way!
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because they have smelly feet.
Where would you find an elephant?
The same place you lost her.
What do you call a seagull who lives at a bay?
A baygull!
How do piggies say goodnight?
With hogs and kisses.
What do you say to a cow who’s in your way?
MOOOOve!
Where do penguins keep their money?
In snow banks!
What do you call a cow’s favorite dance move?
A milkshake!
What do you call an alligator dressed in a vest?
An investigator!
What dinosaur makes the coolest music?
The raptor!
What did one duck say to his funny friend?
You quack me up!
What fruit do twins love?
Pears!
What kind of keys are sweet?
Cookies!
What do you call two bananas?
Slippers.
Why won’t peanut butter tell you a secret?
He’s afraid you’ll spread it.
What do you do if you get peanut butter on your doorknob?
Use a door jam.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well.
What did the little corn say to the mama corn?
Where is pop corn?
What did the banana say to the dog?
Bananas can’t talk.
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
Why did the cracker go to the doctor?
It was feeling crumb-y.
How do we know that the ocean is friendly?
It waves.
What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg.
How do you throw a party in space?
You planet.
What kind of tree can you hold in your hand?
A palm tree!
What did the mama flower say to the baby flower?
Hey bud!
What do you call a train that sneezes?
Achoo-choo train.
How does a barber drive to work?
He takes shortcuts!
How did the pirate get his flag so cheaply?
He bought it on sail.
How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
You rocket!
Why did the bicycle have trouble standing up?
It was two-tired.
What did one elevator say to the other?
Get on my level!
Why can’t Elsa have a balloon?
Because she will let it go.
Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly.
Why was the snow yellow?
Because Elsa let it go!
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, 8, 9
What did zero say to eight?
Nice belt!
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?
Because her students were so bright.
What did one math book say to the other?
Boy, do I have problems!
Why did the teacher throw a stick of butter out the window?
She wanted to show her students how to make a butter fly!
Funny Jokes for Elementary School Kids
Elementary school kids are full of energy and love a good laugh! These jokes are just right for their growing sense of humor—silly, clever, and lots of fun. Get ready to hear some big giggles and maybe even a few groans!
Where do cats go swimming?
In the kitty pool.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles.
What are two things you can’t have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner.
What has lots of ears but can’t hear anything?
A cornfield.
What is a ninja’s favorite kind of shoe?
Sneakers.
What kind of music do balloons hate?
Pop.
How do bees get to school?
On the school buzz!
What do you call an old snowman?
A puddle.
How do Minecraft players celebrate?
With block parties!
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
Can February March?
No, but April May!
Where did the fish keep its money?
In the river bank.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
What animal is the worst at hiding?
The leopard. He’s always spotted!
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese!
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it go!
What did the nose say to the finger?
Stop picking on me!
Where do pencils go on vacation?
Pencil-vania.
Why do elephants never use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse!
What did the triangle say to the circle?
“You’re pointless!”
Why did the math book look so worried?
It had too many problems.
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick!
What’s the king of the pencil case?
The ruler.
Why did the cow go to outer space?
To see the moooon!
Why did the chicken join the band?
Because it had the drumsticks!.
Why can’t you play hide and seek with mountains?
Because they always peak!
How do cows stay up to date?
They read the moos-paper.
Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
Frostbite.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
“Hi, bud!”
Why don’t books ever go to the party?
Because they’re always booked!
How do you make a lemon drop?
Just let it fall!
What do you call a bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear!
Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed!
What do you call a fish who practices medicine?
A sturgeon!
What season is it when you’re on a trampoline?
Spring-time!
What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
Snow!
Why did the baseball team hire a cook?
They needed a good batter.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
Why did the teacher go to the beach?
To test the water!
Epic Jokes for Teens
Teens can be a tough crowd, but the right joke can still get them laughing! These jokes are a little sharper, a little smarter, and totally teen-approved. Get ready for some eye rolls, chuckles, and maybe even a laugh-out-loud moment!
What do you call a 65-year-old who hasn’t reached puberty?
A late boomer.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
“Between you and me, something smells!”
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Follow the fresh prints.
What did the light bulb say to the other light bulb?
Watt’s up?
How do you know when you’re desperate for answers?
You look at the second page of the Google search results.
Why is the pterodactyl so quiet in the bathroom?
It has a silent pee.
What did Jay-Z call Beyonce before they married?
Feyoncè
Why did Adele cross the road?
To tell you “hello from the other side.”
How do you drown a hipster?
In the mainstream.
Why did the rapper need an umbrella?
Fo’drizzle.
What is 89 x 5 + 7 ÷ 3?
A headache.
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.
What do you call a Star Wars droid that takes the long way?
R2-Detour.
What book won’t teachers give you credit for reading?
Facebook.
What is the resemblance between a green apple and a red one?
They’re both red except for the green one.
Why do teens travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can’t even.
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
You can roast beef, but you can’t pee soup.
How do you survive a deadly clown attack?
You go straight for the Juggalo.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose.
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
What do you call a fish that wears a bowtie?
Sofishticated.
Knock Knock Jokes
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Beets!
Beets who?
Beets me!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Atch!
Atch who?
Bless you!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Europe!
Europe who?
No, you’re a poo!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub, I’m dwowning!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Oh no, why are you crying?!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow.
Interupti—
MOO!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad we’re friends?!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie one going to open the door?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Cow says.
Cow says who?
No silly, cow says moooo!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up, I’m running late!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You’re welcome!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you and I miss you!
Read Also: These 64 Kid-Friendly “Dad Jokes” Will Make Your Grandkids Laugh Out Loud
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