Stop Saying These 16 Destructive Phrases to Your Grandchildren

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Tough love has its time and place. We all want our grandkids to grow strong and ready for this sometimes hard world. But still, I’ve learned that being too harsh doesn’t always help.

Sometimes, I catch myself saying things I wish I hadn’t—little phrases that I wouldn’t want my grandkids to repeat or believe about themselves.

That’s why it’s so important to be careful with our words. Grandkids are like little sponges—they soak up everything we say, even when we don’t realize it. In the last blog post, we talked about 20 phrases to avoid saying to your grandkids. Today, I want to share 16 more that could hurt them without us meaning to.

This list isn’t meant to judge anyone—it’s just here to help us all grow a little. We love our grandbabies so much, and even small changes in how we talk can help them become kind, confident, and happy.

And don’t worry—I’ve included some fun and gentle ways to say things instead. 😊

“Don’t be a crybaby.”

Calling your grandchild a crybaby can hurt their heart and make them afraid to show emotions. Instead, try comforting them by saying, “It’s okay to feel sad—I’m right here,” or “Want to talk about what’s making you feel this way?”

Fun way to say it:
“Your heart’s having a little rainstorm—let’s open our umbrellas and wait for the rainbow together.”

“Why don’t you have any friends?”

This question can feel hurtful and make your grandchild feel like something is wrong with them. Instead, offer gentle support with something like, “Let’s find something fun you enjoy where you might meet new friends,” or “I’m always here to listen if you ever feel lonely.”

Fun way to say it:
“Maybe your people are still out there on their unicorns—let’s go exploring until you find your herd.”

“You’re so clumsy.”

Calling your grandchild clumsy might seem small, but it can make them feel embarrassed or nervous about trying new things. Instead, try saying something kind like, “Everyone makes mistakes—let’s keep practicing!” or “It takes time to get better. Keep trying—you’re doing great!”

Fun way to say it:
“Even baby giraffes wobble before they run. You’re just learning—keep going!”

“You should know better by now.”

Saying this can make your grandchild feel embarrassed or ashamed when they make a mistake. Instead, try offering kindness and guidance. You can say, “Mistakes help us learn. Let’s see what we can do better next time,” or “It’s okay to mess up—we’ll figure it out together.”

💬 Fun way to say it:
“Oops! That’s just a plot twist in your learning story. Let’s turn the page and see what comes next!”

“You’re just like your [parent].”

Comparing your grandchild to their parent—especially in a negative way—can hurt their feelings and make them feel misunderstood. It’s better to focus on what makes them special. Try saying something like, “You have your own amazing strengths that make you one of a kind.”

Fun way to say it:
“You’re like your own secret recipe—no one else has your special mix of awesome!”

“Big kids don’t act like that.”

Saying this can make your grandchild feel ashamed or rushed to grow up. Instead, try offering comfort and understanding. Say something like, “Everyone has tough moments, no matter their age,” or “It’s okay to feel this way—let’s work through it together.”

Fun way to say it:
“Even superheroes trip over their capes sometimes—let’s get back up and try again together.”

“You’re too young to worry about that.”

Telling your grandchild they’re too young to worry can make them feel like their thoughts don’t matter. Even little hearts carry big feelings. Instead, try saying, “I understand why you’re feeling this way—let’s talk about it,” or “You may be young, but your feelings are real and important.”

Fun way to say it:
“Even tiny teacups can hold deep thoughts—let’s pour them out together and see what’s inside.”

“You’re just not trying hard enough.”

Saying this can make your grandchild feel like their hard work doesn’t matter. Even if they’re struggling, they still want to feel seen and supported. Instead, try saying, “I can tell you’re trying. Let’s see how we can make this a little easier,” or “Let’s team up and figure out a better way together.”

Fun way to say it:
“Looks like your brain’s in a tangle—let’s grab a flashlight and untangle this puzzle together!”

“Don’t be so sensitive.”

Telling your grandchild not to be sensitive might seem harmless, but it can make them feel like their feelings don’t matter. Instead, let them know their emotions are okay. Try saying, “I see this really upset you—want to talk about it?” or “It’s okay to feel this way. Let’s figure out how to handle it together.”

Fun way to say it:
“Got stormy clouds in your heart? Let’s open the umbrella and chat until the sun comes back.”

“You’re so lazy.”

Calling your grandchild lazy can make them feel like they’ll never do better. Instead, focus on encouraging them to grow. Try saying, “Let’s work on some good habits together,” or “I believe in you—you’ve got what it takes when you’re ready to start!”

Fun way to say it:
“Sometimes our energy is hiding under a blanket—let’s wake it up and get moving like a rocket ship!”

“You’re too small for this.”

Telling your grandchild they’re too small can make them feel like they aren’t enough. Instead, help them feel included and hopeful. Try saying, “Let’s find a way for you to be part of this,” or “You’ll get there soon—let’s keep building those skills!”

Fun way to say it:
“You might be fun-sized, but so are superheroes in training! Let’s find a way to let your powers shine today.”

“You’ll never succeed if you keep doing that.”

Saying this can make your grandchild feel like giving up. Instead of pointing out what’s wrong, try offering support and encouragement. Say something like, “Let’s figure out a better way together,” or “I believe in you—we can make this work.”

Fun way to say it:
“Even rockets need a few test flights before they soar—let’s tweak your plan and try again!”

“Don’t be so bossy.”

Calling your grandchild bossy might make them feel bad about being a natural leader. Instead, help them grow into a kind and thoughtful leader by saying, “I love that you want to lead—let’s also practice listening to others’ ideas,” or “Good leaders help everyone feel heard. Let’s work on that together.”

Fun way to say it:
“Your leadership light is shining bright—let’s add a dimmer switch for teamwork and make room for everyone to shine!”

“You’ll understand when you’re older.”

Saying this can make your grandchild feel like their thoughts or questions don’t matter. Instead, try helping them understand in a simple way. You might say, “Let’s talk about it together and see what makes sense right now,” or “I’ll try to explain it in a way that fits where you are.”

Fun way to say it:
“Let’s be detectives together and see what clues we can find to help make sense of it today!”

“Stop acting silly.”

Telling your grandchild to stop being silly might make them feel like they can’t express joy or creativity. Instead, encourage their playful spirit while setting gentle limits when needed. Try saying, “I love your imagination—let’s find the right time and place for all that fun,” or “Let’s save the silliness for later, and focus for a bit now.”

Fun way to say it:
“Your giggle machine is running full speed! Let’s park it for a moment and then take it for a joyride later.”

“I told you so.”

Saying this after something goes wrong can make your grandchild feel small or embarrassed. Instead, focus on what they can learn by saying, “Every mistake is a chance to grow,” or “Let’s figure out a better way for next time.”

Fun way to say it:
“Welp, that was a twist in the story—let’s grab our thinking caps and write a better ending next time!”

When you’re careful with your words and the messages you share, you help create a loving and supportive space for your grandkids. This helps them grow up feeling confident, valued, and full of self-esteem.

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