Banned from Seeing Your Grandkids? Here’s What You Need to Do

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Family can be complicated.
Even though everyone is different—and that’s a beautiful thing—those differences can sometimes cause hurt feelings or big misunderstandings.

Sadly, this can lead to people not talking at all. And when that happens with your own grown child, it can feel even more painful—especially when it also means not seeing your grandchild.

If this sounds like your situation, I want you to know something important: every morning is a fresh start. Things can change. Healing is possible.

If your heart is aching because you’re not able to be with your grandchild right now, I want to share a few kind words and gentle tips that might bring you comfort and hope. You’re not alone, and there are small steps that can help you through this.

1. Take Time to Reflect

I know you’ve probably done some thinking already—maybe even a lot. But even so, it can still help to slow down and really reflect, especially if you were never told why your child stopped talking to you.

Try to look back at past conversations or moments that might have led to where things are now. Sometimes, understanding what happened is the first step toward making things better.

If you do know why you’ve been kept away, reflection can still help you heal. Take a kind and honest look at your actions and relationships.

Is there something you wish you had done differently? Are there things you could do better moving forward? It’s not about blaming yourself—it’s about opening the door for growth, love, and maybe even forgiveness.

2. Gently Open the Door to Communication

Trying to talk to someone who isn’t talking to you can feel really hard—but don’t give up hope. You can try reaching out to your child (the parent of your grandkids) in a gentle and kind way.

Let them know how much you miss your grandchildren and that you’d like to understand what’s going on. Keep your words soft and respectful so no one feels attacked or uncomfortable.

Good communication isn’t just about talking—it’s also about listening. If your adult child decides to share their feelings, really listen. Let them know their words matter. Show you understand and care. Try to see things from their point of view. Finding even a small bit of common ground can be a big step forward.

Not sure how to start? I truly believe in the power of a handwritten letter. There’s something special about putting your heart on paper. Write to your child. Tell them how much you miss them and the grandkids.

If you made a mistake, say you’re sorry. And if you’re still unsure what went wrong, it’s okay to say that, too. What matters most is that you’re willing to try—and that you still have hope.

3. Balance Giving and Taking

It might sound strange, but fixing a broken relationship often takes both compromise and healthy boundaries—at the same time.

When it comes to compromise, try to be open to making some changes. This might mean saying you’re sorry, adjusting how you do certain things, or even agreeing to go to family therapy. When your child sees that you’re willing to grow and make things better, it can help open their heart, too.

At the same time, it’s also okay to have boundaries. These help protect your heart and make sure your grandkids aren’t caught in the middle. If possible, work with your adult child to set some clear expectations about your role as a grandparent.

When everyone understands what’s okay and what’s not, it’s easier to avoid hurt feelings—and easier to build a relationship that feels safe for everyone.

4. Patience Matters

When you’re missing your grandkids, being patient can feel almost impossible—and honestly, I don’t blame you. Waiting is hard, especially when your heart is hurting. But patience is one of the most important things you can hold onto right now.

Healing a broken relationship takes time. Feelings don’t change overnight. Keep showing that you care and that you’re willing to do the work. Even if progress is slow, your steady love and kindness will start to shine through.

Family situations can shift as time goes on. New chances to reconnect may come when you least expect them. By staying patient, loving, and open, you’re building a strong foundation for a better future with your grandkids—and with your child, too.

Read Also: 13 Powerful Ways to Support Your Grandkids’ Parents (Your Own Kids)

5. Take Care of Your Heart

Going through something like this can feel really heavy, and it’s important to take care of you, too. Lean on the people who love you—whether that’s close friends, family members, or even a support group for grandparents who are in the same boat. Talking to others who understand can bring comfort and remind you that you’re not alone.

While you wait and hope for things to get better, try to fill your days with things that make you happy. Pick up a hobby, spend time in nature, or do something kind for yourself. Taking care of your heart will help you stay strong.

6. Stay Connected in Small Ways

Even if you can’t be with your grandkids in person, there are still little ways to stay close. Try sending them cards, notes, or small gifts to remind them you’re thinking of them. If it feels right, you can also connect through social media or keep up with their favorite hobbies and interests.

These small efforts show your grandkids that your love is always there—even from a distance. It lets them know they are never forgotten and always in your heart.

7. Know Your Legal Options

In some cases, you might need to look into legal help to see your grandchildren—especially if you believe they’re not safe or being cared for properly. This is a big step and should only be a last resort, since it can make family tensions even harder.

If you feel this may be the only way forward, talk to a family lawyer. They can help you understand your rights and what might happen. Just remember—the court’s main goal is always to do what’s best for the child. They’ll look at everything carefully before making any decisions.

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If you’re going through this, please know I’m holding you close in my prayers. This kind of hurt runs deep—there’s just no other word for it but heartbreaking. But even in the hardest times, things can get better. So don’t give up hope. Keep loving your sweet grandbabies, even if that love has to stretch across the miles for now.

I’m sending you all my love, dear fellow Grandma.
Let’s talk again soon. ❤️

Bonus: To Every Grandma Who Feels Like She’s Failing — Read This Before You Give Up

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