10 Pieces of Grandma Wisdom for When You Feel Unseen or Unappreciated

Sharing is caring!

One of the best parts of running this site is meeting so many wonderful grandmas like you! I love hearing your stories, sharing ideas, and connecting heart to heart. My favorite way to chat is through email—it feels more personal, like sitting down with a friend over coffee. It’s also a safe place where we can ask honest questions and offer real advice to one another.

Over time, one question seems to come up again and again: “What do I do when I feel unappreciated by my adult children or grandkids?”

To answer that, I reached out to you—my amazing community of grandmas—and your responses were full of wisdom and heart.

If you’ve ever felt unseen or taken for granted, please know you’re not alone. Here are 10 thoughtful tips shared by fellow grandmas who truly understand.

When I start feeling unappreciated, I remind myself that love doesn’t always look like phone calls or visits—it’s sometimes quiet and steady in the background. I’ll send a funny meme, a photo from when they were little, or a short “thinking of you” message just to keep the connection alive. And when we do talk, I make sure to focus on joy instead of guilt. Little by little, that warmth always finds its way back.

– Marilyn, North Carolina

There were seasons when I felt that same ache of being forgotten, especially when my grandkids stopped calling unless they needed something. It broke my heart, but I took it to prayer. I asked God to help me love them without needing anything in return. So now, I send them little messages of love—sometimes a verse, sometimes a goofy selfie with a caption that makes them laugh. Even if they don’t respond right away, I know God is working in their hearts, and in mine too. I remind myself daily: love planted in faith always blooms, even if it takes time.

– Gloria, Tennessee

When those lonely feelings creep in, I grab my gratitude journal and write down three small blessings about each grandchild—something funny they said once, a time we laughed till we cried, or even the way their hugs used to feel. It reminds me that love doesn’t disappear; it just changes shape as they grow. Then I plan a little surprise—like mailing a handwritten note with a sticker inside—just to say, “Grandma’s still cheering for you.”

– Elaine, Wisconsin

When I start to feel overlooked, I give myself a little “pep talk.” I remind myself that my grandkids are busy building their own worlds—and that’s actually a good thing! I’ll find a small way to stay connected, like sending them an old photo of us together with a silly caption. It’s amazing how often that simple gesture starts a whole conversation again.

– Lorraine, Texas

I used to cry quietly after sending texts that went unanswered, wondering if my grandkids even saw them. Then one morning during my prayers, I felt peace wash over me—God whispering that my job wasn’t to be noticed, but to keep loving. So I started sending a “Nana Blessing of the Day,” just a small note of encouragement or a funny thought. Over time, little hearts started trickling back—an emoji here, a “Love you, Nana” there. I still get lonely, but I’ve learned that steady love, guided by faith, has a way of reaching them when words can’t.

– Margaret, Kentucky

There are days when it feels like I’ve become invisible, but then I remember—I’m still part of their story. I keep showing love in small ways: a postcard, a prayer, or a quick “I’m proud of you” text. Sometimes the response is instant, sometimes it’s silence—but I’ve learned that love sent out always finds its way back in time.

– Ruth, Ohio

There have been moments when I felt invisible in my grandkids’ busy worlds. But instead of sitting in that sadness, I started writing them little “Nana Notes.” I slip in a memory — like the time we baked cookies and got flour everywhere — and tuck in a silly sticker or $2 for a treat. I mail them at random times, not just holidays. It keeps a soft connection alive, and sometimes I’ll get a sweet “Thanks, Nana” text back. It’s not much, but it warms my heart knowing they still think of me now and then.

– Elaine, Ohio

When my kids and grandkids seemed too wrapped up in their own worlds to notice me, I decided to shift my focus. I started volunteering at a local library’s story hour, reading to little ones. It filled the space in my heart that felt empty. Funny thing — my grandkids noticed! Now they call to ask, “Grandma, what book are you reading this week?” Sometimes, showing love to others reminds your family how much love you still have to give.

– Marjorie, Texas

When I start feeling unappreciated, I take a deep breath and remember that life moves fast for them — work, school, friends, and all that. So, I write each of my grandkids a little “just because” note and tuck in a dollar for coffee or a cookie. It’s not about the money — it’s my way of saying, “Grandma’s still cheering for you.” Funny thing is, those little notes are the ones they save.

– Elaine, Vermont

As a grandma who lives several states away, I’ve had my fair share of lonely moments—especially when the phone stays silent longer than I’d like. But then I remember what it was like as a young mom: exhausted, emotional, just trying to keep the house from falling apart. That perspective softens my heart. Instead of feeling forgotten, I choose to be gentle—with them and with myself. I’ll send a care package with diapers, a silly card, or even a photo of me holding their parent as a baby. It’s my way of saying, “I get it. I’ve been there.” And honestly, that small act fills me with peace while I wait for the next FaceTime call.

– Linda, Colorado

At the end of the day, dear Grandma, remember this—you are deeply loved, even in the quiet seasons when it doesn’t always show. The bond between you and your grandkids isn’t measured by how often they call or text, but by the love you’ve already sown into their hearts. Keep showing up with kindness, patience, and faith.

Life has a gentle way of circling love back to those who give it freely. Breathe, smile, and trust that what you’ve planted will bloom in its own beautiful time.

If you ever feel forgotten or unappreciated, please know this — you’re not alone. Every grandma has those moments. Take a deep breath, hold your head high, and remember that you’re doing such a wonderful job. Your love makes a difference every single day, and your family is truly blessed to have you.

Sharing is caring!