Say these two words to change how your distant grandkids open up to you

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Have you ever sat on a video call with your grandchild, excited to hear all about their day, only to get one-word answers?

“How was school?”
“Good.”
“What did you do?”
“Nothing.”

And then silence.

It’s not that your grandkids don’t love you—they do. But sometimes, when there’s distance, conversations feel harder. You want to dive into their little world, but the door feels closed.

What if I told you there are just two simple words that can help unlock that door?

Why Kids Sometimes Stay Quiet

Grandkids are funny little people. One moment they can chatter on for what feels like hours, telling you every detail about a cartoon they watched, and the next moment they act like pulling words out of them is harder than pulling teeth. It can leave a grandma scratching her head, wondering what went wrong.

The truth is, children aren’t quiet because they don’t care. More often than not, they’re distracted by the swirl of their own little worlds.

Maybe they’re busy with their favorite toy or itching to get back to a game. Sometimes they’re just plain shy and aren’t sure what to say. Other times, they’ve gotten used to giving short answers because they think that’s all you’re looking for—just the “right” answer and nothing more.

And when you’re far away, the distance can make it even trickier. Without those everyday moments of sitting at the kitchen table together or riding in the car, they don’t always know how to start a real conversation.

But here’s the important part to remember: their quietness has nothing to do with love. Your grandkids adore you. They may not always show it in words, but their hearts are full of it. What they need isn’t more pressure or more questions—it’s a gentle little nudge that makes talking feel easy and safe again.

The Two Magic Words

Here’s the little secret I want to share with you. Instead of peppering your grandkids with quick yes-or-no questions, try leaning in with the words “tell me.”

Those two simple words carry a kind of magic. They don’t sound like a quiz. They don’t feel like an interrogation. Instead, they come across as gentle, safe, and full of curiosity. When you say “tell me,” you’re opening a door and letting your grandchild know you truly want to step into their world and see things the way they do.

Think about the difference. If you ask, “Did you do your homework?” the answer is usually a flat yes or no, and the conversation stops right there. But when you say, “Tell me about what you learned today,” you give them room to share. Maybe they’ll mention the funny story their teacher told, or the messy art project that left glue all over their desk. Suddenly, you’ve moved from a dead-end question to a lively story.

It works the same way with everyday moments. “Did you have fun?” might get you a shrug. But “Tell me about the best part of your day” lights a spark. It nudges them to pause, think, and share the memory that made them giggle at recess or the moment they felt proud finishing a tricky puzzle.

See how different that feels? One style shuts the door before it even opens, while the other invites you to step inside. And once your grandkids realize that you want the details, not just the headlines, they’ll start to open up more and more.

Easy Ways to Use the Two Magic Words

The beauty of these two little words is that you can tuck them into almost any conversation. Here are a few ways you can use these two words with your grandkids—even from miles away:

• School: “Tell me about the funniest thing your teacher said.”
• Friends: “Tell me about who made you laugh this week.”
• Feelings: “Tell me about something that made you proud today.”
• Family: “Tell me about the silly thing your dad or mom did.”
• Playtime: “Tell me about the game you’re playing.”

When you use “tell me” in these small but meaningful ways, you stop being someone who asks stiff questions and become someone who steps into their world. And that’s where the real magic happens.

Listening With Your Whole Heart

Of course, saying the right words is only the first step. What really matters is what comes after—how you hold the space once your grandchild begins to talk.

Children have a way of knowing when someone is truly listening to them. They can sense it in your eyes, in your smile, in the way your voice softens when you respond.

When your grandchild starts sharing, try to slow yourself down. Don’t rush to jump in with advice or correct their story. Let them wander through their thoughts, even if it takes a moment for them to find the words.

Sometimes they’ll circle around before they land on the heart of what they want to say, and if you wait patiently, you’ll be there for the best part.

It helps to show your delight in the small things.

A gentle nod, a smile that crinkles your eyes, or a simple phrase like, “Oh, that’s wonderful,” can mean more than you realize. These little signals tell your grandchild, “I hear you. I see you. What you’re saying matters to me.” It’s amazing how quickly a child will open up when they feel that kind of acceptance.

And don’t underestimate the power of silence. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is pause and simply let their words hang in the air for a moment, as though you are wrapping them in a warm quilt. That pause says, “I’m soaking this in because your words are important.”

When kids feel that kind of listening, when they know they are not just being tolerated but cherished, they want to share more.

They lean in closer.

They tell longer stories.

They even begin to trust you with the parts of their heart that they don’t show to everyone else. That is when a grandma becomes more than just a relative on the other end of a phone call—she becomes a safe place, a soft landing, and a steady presence in a busy world.

A Grandma’s Story

One grandma told me, “My granddaughter used to give me short answers on every call. But once I said, ‘Tell me about your art project,’ her eyes lit up. She went on for ten minutes about the glitter, the glue, and how she got paint all over her shirt. Now she actually looks forward to our chats.”

And that is the real power of two simple words. They can turn a quiet, distant call into a moment of laughter, stories, and connection that both grandma and grandchild will treasure.

Closing Thought

Grandmas, you don’t need fancy gadgets or perfect questions to stay close. Sometimes, the smallest change makes the biggest difference.

So the next time you talk with your grandkids, try saying “tell me.”

It might just open a door to their heart you’ve been waiting to walk through. ❤️

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